Abuse in any relationship could have very devastated effect on the victim(s). There are several ways by which abusers manipulate, frighten, harass, threaten or assault their victims, and usually under the disguise of love,
thereby making the victims, of such relationships unable to identify or reckon with the fact that they are being abused.
Too many people suffer in silence, in such relationships and of course, that is if they live to tell the story.
Abuse in a relationship could be emotional or physical.The physical abuse is exactly what the name depicts, physical.
The victim is physically abused and the bruises, blood, broken arms, nose, head, skull, and every other physical injury or sometimes, death of the victim are clear pointers to such relationships. This is what we all (including abusers), refer to and condemn as domestic violence.
Emotional abuse, is as terrible as the physical, if not worse off. The victim is manipulated, made to undergo emotional assault, depression, torment, discrimination, dehumanisation, criticism, dominated and made to live with low self esteem or self worth or non at all!
There are so many people who are trapped in these relationships and are at a dilemma, as to what to do or how to set themselves free. Why? The reason is that abusers are usually the first to play the victim. They play the blame game by, making the victim feel responsible for the abuse. The victim remains bonded to him and continues to endure the abuse, hoping things will change but unfortunately, things rarely change.
These types of abuses can be experienced in all levels of relationships and not necessarily marital relationships. People can be abused physically or emotionally even by their own parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, society, relatives, peers, leaders, government and so on.
thereby making the victims, of such relationships unable to identify or reckon with the fact that they are being abused.
Too many people suffer in silence, in such relationships and of course, that is if they live to tell the story.
Abuse in a relationship could be emotional or physical.The physical abuse is exactly what the name depicts, physical.
The victim is physically abused and the bruises, blood, broken arms, nose, head, skull, and every other physical injury or sometimes, death of the victim are clear pointers to such relationships. This is what we all (including abusers), refer to and condemn as domestic violence.
Emotional abuse, is as terrible as the physical, if not worse off. The victim is manipulated, made to undergo emotional assault, depression, torment, discrimination, dehumanisation, criticism, dominated and made to live with low self esteem or self worth or non at all!
There are so many people who are trapped in these relationships and are at a dilemma, as to what to do or how to set themselves free. Why? The reason is that abusers are usually the first to play the victim. They play the blame game by, making the victim feel responsible for the abuse. The victim remains bonded to him and continues to endure the abuse, hoping things will change but unfortunately, things rarely change.
These types of abuses can be experienced in all levels of relationships and not necessarily marital relationships. People can be abused physically or emotionally even by their own parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, society, relatives, peers, leaders, government and so on.
You might just be abusing your child emotionally, without even knowing it.
As a friend do you find it a difficult to stand by your friends or encourage them? Are you always criticising your friends or ridiculing them, especially when you are both in company of others? You could just be emotionally abusing your friend without knowing it and that, may likely take a bad turn on the psychology of your friend.
When starting off a relationship, endeavour not to be carried away by all the sweet nothings. Yes, it is good and alright to be in a relationship, but it doesn't mean we have to stick to an abusive partner because you might end up being sorry. Read10 Things Every Husband Should Know About His Wife
There are ways to identify and tell if you are in an abusive relationship and the reality is that abusers actually show the warning signs from onset.
- Excessive Jealousy: When your partner or spouse feels jealous easily. He or she overreacts at almost every situation and magnifies every inconsequential thing, then you need to watch it, don't ever mistake that, for love.
- Wants To Be In control : Does he or she always want to control you, your time, finances, movement, how you relate with friends and families? When he or she practically wants you to ask for permission before you go out, how and when to spend your money, who you should talk to and who you shouldn't . Do they make you feel you don't have a mind of your own or cannot make decisions without them ?
- When you are Afraid: There is no reason on earth why you should willingly be in a relationship with someone you are scared of. If you are afraid of him or her, then it means there is fire on the mountain and I am sure you don't need a prophet to tell you what to do, when there is one.
- Humiliation: You are certainly in an abusive relationship, when your partner sees nothing wrong in humiliating you, especially in public and sees it as being normal to make you a subject of ridicule. Sometimes, this is done not necessarily by their words, but by their body language or a demeaning look.
- Physically Abuses you: This is actually the height of it all in most abusive relationships. When a partner, who professes undying love one minute turns into a 'Tiger' the next minute. When it comes to physical abuse, in marriages or during courtships, the focus usually is on the female because we all seem to agree that the women, are more vulnerable. But the truth is that, there are men who are equally being 'tortured' by their wives and out of shame or lack of courage, they are usually reluctant to voice out. Yes, men also do face domestic violence! In as much as I do not support divorce, I do not think it is wise to wait until you get killed before you eventually leave forever! If a relationship is getting violent, please leave and seek help either psychological or legal help. The government and so many Organisations, are more than willingly so assist victims of domestic violence or physical abuse. I know it is usually difficult especially for women, to leave their abusive husbands because of their children, what the society would say about them, shame, loneliness and so many other factors contribute to such decisions. However, if you should choose to continue to be a 'punching bag' and eventually get deformed, incapacitated or killed, due to several beatings, your abusive husband will move on with his life and possibly get himself another wife.Your children, you protectively, think you don't want to leave behind or don't want to raise alone will eventually move on, the society you think will judge you will move on because they have better things to do than to keep thinking about you! And you by then, you will end up becoming a forgotten history! So the choice is yours and remember you have just one life.
- You Feel Guilty: Abusers are experts at this. They justify their actions by blaming you for every thing. They make you feel you led them to it, even when you know its's not true. By that way, they manipulate you and get you to feel sorry for them, even as far as covering up and making excuses for them. Guess what, many abusers often have very charming personality and are really nice outside their homes and it is often difficult to believe what they do and can do to their partners in the home front.
- They Threaten You: When your partner threatens and gives you strict conditions and most times, in a subtle way or when he or she tells you never to think of leaving them or else ... then you need to seek for assistance fast.
- Emotionally Unstable: When your partner is neither here nor there emotionally. One minute they are nice and smooth as cream and before you blink an eye he or she is something else. When you just can't predict their reaction to very simple things.
- Addiction: Some abusers are not naturally that way and their actions may be influenced by an addiction to some drugs or even alcohol and consequently need help themselves. However, you need to ask yourself if you can cope with that or not, while he or she seeks medical help.
- Intolerant: Most abusive relationships are characterised by intolerance by the abuser. When your partner finds it difficult to tolerate any of your flaws both assumed ones and the real ones, then it could become a huge problem.
0 comments:
Post a Comment